Zoë Wells (c)
Lucy Bannister Curran
*Match 1 vs Birmingham 2s*
Keys, anxious to redeem his ball boy reputation and secure himself a spot on the prestigious women’s 2nd squad, made some tasty little catches at the back line. This ball retention proved crucial to our girls, who used it to make a delicious play ball error, leading experts to speculate as to whether our physical disabilities had at last migrated to our ears. Half time was punctuated by a debate as to whether a final set should be either a minute long or a blatantly incorrect 30 seconds. Thankfully this was correctly settled and we nabbed a win from Birmingham’s cloven hooves in the last 10 seconds, making the score 4-8 at half time.
Michela went on to ping a Brummie gal in the toe with a filthy little single in the second half. The Bham captain responded to this by launching herself at the ball with the energy of an Apollo flight but an outcome more like the Challenger, catching the ball but landing square in the outbox. Despite these best efforts, we ended with a perfectly mirrored second half, making the score 8-16 at full time.
*Match 2 vs Balls of Steel 2s*
Ballgirl and cheerleader Josh Keys summarises this match as “just a lotta dickin’”, which is notably trickier for a women’s match. Still, our girls handled their balls fantastically, maintaining solid retention and playing incredibly quick frames throughout, including an impressive 57 second set. The match ended with a score of 28-0; our thoughts and prayers are with the BoS girls after this truly devastating attack.
*Match 3 vs Birmingham 1s*
Chiara’s start to this match can be summarised by a classic, centuries old saying from France: “elle a taken-a-massive-shit sur les filles de Birmingham”, which roughly translates to “she made two catches within the space of 5 seconds without even blinking”. Michela blocked a single straight into Mai-An as part of her MVP campaign – we eagerly await Birmingham’s match report to see if she made it. Despite this, the score was 4-8 at half time, earning us some respecting nods from the Bham 2s ball retrievers.
Never one to change tactics, we successfully pulled off the tricky Play Ball Error a second time. The running theory is that we are simply incapable of hearing play ball over the sheer size of Birmingham’s egos. Still, the match ended with another 8-16 loss, rounding out a tricky day for our girls, who put in their all against some incredibly solid teams and also Balls of Steel.
MVP: for their incredible ability to always look active and alert on court, as well as their usual spicy catches and umami counters, Mai-An and Chiara are our joint MVPs for the meet.
Pints: Michela Perrett (line fault); Lucy Palmer (retriever error); Ellie Ford (retriever error)
TL;DR: lost to Bham 1s and 2s, destroyed BoS 2s.
– Zoë Wells