Date: 6th February 2016
Venue: New College, Leicester
- Thandi Ngoma (c)
- Rosie Leverton
- Kay Heenan
- Katie Thompson
- Cecilia Jastrzembska
Apologies for the lateness of this match report, like many a literary great I have been struck down in the prime of life by tragic illness. Yet I will endeavour to tell the tale of the first WDPL meet of the season…
I would love to carry on the tradition of overanalysing the journey to the match location, however not much really happened apart from we agreed that Bieber’s “What do you mean” invariably saves the night at Pop. Old news. We arrived at New College Leicester which is very exciting to play at because they have dodgeball courts PRINTED ON THE FLOOR. Long gone are the days when you would trip over the £1.99 masking tape, rip it all up and just make a general mess. Things got very exciting for approximately 90 seconds as we thought, going into battle as we were with just 5 players, we could sub in one of the Girls Who Won’t Leave aka Harry Bignell or Megan White. However even the mere whiff of this sent hackles rising and grumbles around the hall, and the ref trundled over to analyse the UKDBA rules, which I assume are written on a napkin. For all who are interested, apparently you cannot sub a player from another club. (?!?) As none of the watching mums were willing to step into the breach, we embarked upon our first match small in numbers, but mighty in heart.
Match 1: Warwick Warriors Women vs Nottingham Sheriffs
Well, not really sure what to say here. Rhys Woodgate helpfully pointed out that twice we were finished off in under a minute. These things happen from time to time. Clawed some points back though, we’re nothing if not scrappy.
Final score: Nottingham Sheriffs 10 – 4 Warwick Warriors Women
Match 2: Warwick Warriors Women vs Bedford Mighty Eagles
Almost unanimously considered the hardest team in DPL, this team is packing all England players bar one. It’s casj, we all know Warwick like a challenge. And I have to say, we stepped up. Some huge BACK YOURSELF catching from especially Kay Heenan, Katie Thompson, and I’m gonna say it, me. When Kay hunkers down and stares that ball down you know it’s going straight in the bear trap. Howzat. However I feel my favourite moment was me and Katie ranged against all 6 players, with 3 balls nestled between us. Picture it, a real David and Goliath moment, not only metaphorically but physically too, considering neither of us are over 5’3″, and the other team most certainly are. I turns to Katie and I says, let’s have a go. Katie turns to me and says really?!? You back ourselves that much?? However it was too late to answer because we were already throwing. The looks on their faces roughly translated to what are these short twats doing? Thank god we hit someone because it would have been severely embarrassing if not.
All in all a match we should be proud of, we definitely held our own and overworn as the phrase is, the score on paper doesn’t reflect the actual play, which was much closer than I think many would have believed. AND WE ONLY HAD 5 PLAYERS.
Final score: Bedford Mighty Eagles 12 – 2 Warwick Warriors Women
Match 3: Warwick Warriors Women vs Leeds Dodge
Whooooo. Boy oh boy. What a match. A classic Warwick slow start saw us channeling Taylor and shaking it off, if Swifty liked to spend her afternoons in garishly lit halls trying to hit people with phlegm coloured balls. We caught things (yes everyone, Katie finally got those kneepads dirty!), we threw things (Cecilia had a naughty little counter that kissed some toes), we got hit in the face (me), we caught some more things (Thandi Ngoma had had enough of these puny balls being thrown at her so just decided to catch them all), we got accused of cheating (unacceptable and from both ours and the refs perspective, groundless).
Again a really well played match (DID I MENTION WE HAD 5 PLAYERS?) and the team should be proud of ourselves. Ooooooooosh.
Final score: Leeds Dodge 9 – 5 Warwick Warriors Women
Thoughts, reflections, ponderings:
Thanks to Rhys Woodgate, Adam Bowditch, and of course the queens of the cheers that sound like sex noises Harry and Meg for supporting us, it makes a huge difference having someone there to cheer you on. You are the wind beneath our dodgeball wings.
Over n out